Monday, February 20, 2012

Papa Roach - Scars

DEDICATED TO MY SO CALLED WANNA BE GROWN ASS WOMAN JASMINE LOUISE..............SOME DAUGHTER YOU CAME OUT TO BE................YOUR MAMMY

Friday, February 3, 2012

IN A NUTSHELL..................

WE ARE ALL BORN IN THIS DALLNER/CHILVERS FAMILY TO CONTROL..WE ALL HAVE A UNIQUE CONTROL...IF IT ANIT MY GRANDMA ELLURLA...IF IT ANIT CAROLE...BONNIE.. JASMINE...PASSION....WE WERE BORN THIS WAY...AND MAYBE ITS A GIFT OR WHATEVERS ...BUT....I WILL ALSO NOT KEEP FIGHTING OR THE DAUGHTER CONNING ME ANYMORE...NEEDLESS TO SAY...IM DONE WITH BULLSHIT...AND I HAD ENOUGH....SO DEAL WITH IT...IF NOT THATS OK TOO...I WILL KEEP LIVING MY LIFE THE WAY I WANT AND INTEND TOO...THATS WHO I AM.....<>SO BE IT.....IM OUT.....

Thursday, February 2, 2012

the bright light is is blinding....

well i come to the conculison that we need to be apart for life.. i have no more for you....today i had a talk with a good friend and i had a light blub moment.....

i think grandma chilvers i think she was a strong woman and took care of my grandfather.... and her daughter carole my mother was a strong woman bitch type and try to control my father...(probably the fact that he was gay)...and she was done with it...and she left...and me being the oldest of her daughter bonnie(me)....and i control my daughter...but i tryed and she wont let me.. and jasmine my daughter has her oldest daughter passion she will control her...and when passion has her child....so the cycle keeps going....but................THINKING...............

i thought that this behavior i learned from...nope...as i was talking with my friend...she says i was born that way...my grandmother time and my mothers time and my time and jasmine time and will be passion time....it the way we think...that we have to control or take care of...i realized that different time and different era...and because my mother carole lefted me i was adbandon and i showed my father...who i really was...and that i would make a point of it to showed them....that i was a control type person(he always mention i was just like that bitch..(my mother carole)and)....when i think back...i can see how grandma was with grandpa and probably my mother carole...and carole gave to me...and so on down the road...its in our genes....so....so its the cycle of life....and knowing i cant control my daughter and i tryed but shes a bigger bitch then i...thats why we clashed....and will clashed and until i say enough...WELL I SAID ENOUGH ON MY 52ND BIRTHDAY....IM SO DONE WITH THIS CHILD...AND I WILL STICK TO MY GUNS..I WILL NOT DEAL WITH THE EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT...THAT WE CANT GET ALONG...WE KEEP FIGHTING....SO JAZ...PASSION WILL PUT YOU TO THE TEST...AND HER KID WILL DO THE SAME......

SO...im seeing the light even more...as i keep improving myself and that i will not be a subject to her (jaz) bullshit...im so done.....i hope you get your life together girl....cuz u need to apply yourself..and if u dont thats on you..not me....i raised you..and u took your life over at 14...and now u will be 31 and u still dont got your shit together......your mammy