there was good times.......

as i sit here and blog about my kid.......the laughs we had...the birthday parties for the granddaughters... the time i had to go to mississippi twice to get the girls....the concerns  i had for keke and laylay...the plan that they would be in the afterschool program at the church..where gunny's been going since kindergarden...the plan that they were with me for a minute...when she was pregant with melly.....the many times that jaz said im sorry mommy to me a million times.  and i let her in my home, my life...with the havic bullshit....she gave me....the times she would stick up for me...tellin people u dont treat my mama like that....thou she was the one who disrespected me and yell at me and cuss at me....the times i took her to work...few and far betweeen jobs she had....running her all over lakeland to her friends houses......the times when it was just her an me when we went out to lunch....she knew how to rake me over with her con ness of buying her cigs or black and milds....cancer sticks....or mommy i will pay you back....when i get paid....like that happen.. ususally all she would do would get me a coke and that was payment...but.....i sit here and i had no money and i supported her with her kids ....on an off ...including when i kicked her out of my house.....so....now that life change in aug of 2009 to the present....its no longer of the good times... its heart wrenching and i living with out my grandbabies knowing she will make sure i never see them again........i dont like this situation...at all........