NOTE TO JAZ

PROMISE TO MY KID(S): I will stalk you, freak out on you, lecture you, drive you crazy, be your nightmare, embarrass you in front of your friends, and hunt you down like a bloodhound until the day you understand why I do it. Then I'll know you're a responsible adult. All because I LOVE YOU. You will never find someone who loves and cares about you more than me....YOUR MOM. (copy and paste if you feel the same!)

THIS STORY CONTINUES....

WELL IT GOT TO THE TIME WHEN I HAD GUNTHER...WE JUST MOVED OUT OF THE PROJECTS..WILLIE AND I WERE ENGAGED...WE RENTED A HOUSE...DAYS BEFORE GUNNY WAS BORN...I REMEMBER LOCKING JASMINE IN THE HOUSE FOR THE THREE DAYS I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL..ANYWAYS AS WE WERE SETTLEDING IN THE HOUSE...THE WHOLE TIME WE LIVED THERE A GOOD THREE MONTHS...HER BIRTHDAY CAME UP...GUNNY WAS TWO MONTHS OLD....JASMINE WENT TO THE HOOD AROUND THE CORNER HER 15TH BIRTHDAY...I WENT TO GO LOOKED FOR HER... ASK THE POLICE CAN I GO LOOK FOR HER ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE IS 15..SO WE CRUISED THE NEIGHBORHOOD...COULDNT FIND HER....BUT SHE DID SEE ME...AND I WENT BACK TO THE HOUSE...LATER WHEN SHE CAME HOME....THE FOLLOWING HAPPENED...(NOW THIS IS THE ONE BEATING I DID...YOU KNOW WHEN THEY GET THERE REAL WHIP ASS BEATING)I CORNERED HER IN HER ROOM....I NOTICED SHE WAS HIGH...I REMEMBER LOOKING IN HER EYES....I PICKED UP EVERYTHING I COULD FIND AND BEAT HER ASS...A PURSE..A PLASTIC HANGER...A SUITCASE..SHOES..MY HANDS...I WAS SLINGIN HER IN THE ROOM...ENDED UP IN THE CLOSEST...I ASKED HER IM THE BITCH THAT RUNS THIS HOUSE...NOT YOU...F WITH ME AGIAN AND I WILL KICK YOUR ASS.......OF COURSE I DIDNT LEAVE ANY EVIDENCE THAT I DID BEAT HER...THIS CHILD ONLY RECIEVED MAYBE 1/2 DOZEN MAJOR BEATINGS...(BUT SHE WILL TELL YOU DAILY)THEN WE MOVED TO A TOWNHOUSE..AND THE SCHOOL SHE WAS TO BE AT ...SHE DIDNT GO..AND AT THAT TIME THE TURANCY OFFICER WOULD COME TO THE HOUSE...MAN I CALLED THEM WEEKLY LET THEM KNOW THAT SHE DIDNT WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL...PLUS SHE HOOKED UP WITH JESSICA...AND MACHO..(THIS FOOL GOT HIT BY A MAC TRUCK TWICE IN LIFE AND HE ANIT DEAD YET)JESSICA COMES INTO PLAY LATER IN JASMINE LIFE...ONE TIME JASMINE TOLD ME I WAS A DUCK....THAT TERM MEANT STUPID...IN THE SLANG OFF THE STREET...I TRYED ONE DAY OH IM A DUCK I SHOW YOU...I TRYED TO CATCH HER UP THE STAIRS BUT NEVER CAUGHT HER....THEN A YEAR LATER WE MOVED TOWARDS THE HOSPITAL...THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING.......

so..........

jasmine....at this point and time..13 years old....and she is running the streets...disrespecting me...yelling and cussing me when ever she had a chance...and she and jeanette running the streets...jaz would run in different neigborhoods...maybe a couple of the projects..as she was doing this...jaz would leave my house 3/5 days at a time...and i would make the child missing report with the police...we did this a million times..and each time when she came home i had to call the police and let them know she was home...i had to do this because jaz at six different times called dcf and tell them i hit her...cuz when in middle school at the time early 90's the told the kids if mommy and daddy hit you call on them...so did...each time i had dcf knocking on my door..i would be so defensive with them...i would tell them...u dont feed her...clothed her ...you dont housed her...i do...if i spanked the girl...i did it when ever a situation arised...but most of the time..i would have to catch her...to slap her...i was prego with gunther...so what was i to do..i just stop chasing her...and i let her talked to me anyway...cussing and such..her friends were doing that to there own parnets..so she just followed...and covered my ass with dcf when i made those child missing reports....i could remember officer mark in our projects...pissed off with me...everytime i made a child missing report on her...he hated me..when dcf came out at the 6th time...reporting on me i hit her...the dcf agent finally saw that jasmine was the problem....i almost put her in a home...but...dang it...she got her period...and mom mode kicked in...so i took care of my child....and she continued to disrespect me and cuss me...and i let it happen...

AS FOLLOWS...

BEFORE I START JUST LETTING YOU ALL KNOW...JASMINE AND ERNESTO WAS DISIPLINE DIFFERNET THEN WHAT WAS DONE TO ME...AND THEY GOT TYPICAL SPANKINGS...AND I YELLED AT THEM...BUT TEACHING THEM...THERE MORALS...AND TO BE RESPECTFUL...RIGHT FROM WRONG..

SO ITS AROUND THE AGE OF 13 WHEN JAZ STARTS....SHE WAS HANGING WITH THE GIRLS IN THE NEIGBORHOOD AND GOING TO SCHOOL WITH THEM....MANY TIMES...JAZ WOULD GO SEE JEANETTE...AND THEY WOULD DANCE ON THE PORCH...RIGHT WHEN HIP HOP STARTED AND RAP...AND THEY WOULD DANCE LIKE HOOTCHA MAMAS....YOU POP, DROP, LOCK....THIS WAS A DAILY THING...ESPECAILLY WKENDS....IF AND WHEN I TRIED TO DISIPLINE JAZ...SHE WOULD RUN...AND I COULD NEVER CATCH HER...ONE TIME I CHANGED HER BEDROOM...AWAY FROM THE WINDOW/STAIRS TO THE MIDDLE BACK BEDROOM...WHICH WE WERE ON THE SECOND FLOOR...SHE HATED THAT I DID THAT...SHE CLAIMS I GROUNDED HER IN ROOM ...WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE YES I DID THAT...BY 1994 IN FEB...I MEET WILLIE...HE DID THE WKEND VISITS WITH ME...TIL JUNE OF 94 WHEN I ASKED HIM TO MOVE IN WITH ME...SO JAZ WAS JEALOUS THAT I HAD SOMEONE IN MY LIFE...THAT SOMEONE WAS PAYING ATTENTION TO ME...SHE HATED THAT.....SO LIFE GOES ON...AND LIVING LIFE.....WELL OCT 94 I GOT PREGO WITH GUNTHER...AND I COULD REMEMBER...THANKSGIVING WK....JAZ RUNNING OUT THE DOOR..SHE DID SOMETHING TO PISS ME OFF..BASCAILLY TYPICAL MOTHER/DAUGHTER THING..I TRYED TO RUN AND GET HER BUT SAFETY FIRST I WAS WITH CHILD AT LEAST A MONTH PREGO....SO I WALKED ACROSS THE STREET...GOT TO JASMINE AND YOU COULD HERE THE SLAP ACROSS THE FACE..I SWEAR THE WHOLE STREET HEARD IT..I TOLD HER SHE WOULD NOT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT...AND I CUSSED HER OUT....SO THIS IS WHERE IT STARTS GETTING TO WHAT JAZ STARTED DOING....

92...

by now jasmine is 10/11 and still everything is going as plan...taking care of my children..nothing major...the time was to move into a three bedroom apt in the projects...cuz i had one boy one girl...so jaz is starting middle school..and we hit the age of 13....this is where it all starts...knowing i had to live in the projects for a minute...(88/95)i mean i wasnt going to live out on the streets...so that where home was...so some of the girls in this neighborhood and they all went to the same middle school...jasmine was changing....so before i start this...just know i had few friends that knew me and know about me...and the areas where i lived in life thru out lakeland know that i was taking care of my children...(needless to say...jasmine has a version she sticking too and im here to let you know that the last 14 years is the truth....(13/28yrs of age)..............

first couple of years.......

well i became a mom(1981)...i knew i would be a better mother then what was done to me...having a mother that left and a stepmother that did all the abuse...i was living in my grandparents apt building and i lived in one of the apartements..i was taking care of my baby..and she was 6months old when i went back to fla...margaret needed me...she had a nervous breakdown and jeff asked me to come down and help her..so thats what i did...me and jaz in tow back to lakeland fl...i got on welfare...and i took care of my daughter...birthdays come and go and me helping margaret get off her meds from the breakdown...the judds push me to get going with life and in 1984 jaz was three and i got a job at zayres department store...i work there for 4years...the first job ever that i stayed the longest..i was on the stock crew..and a cashier..as time goes by..jasmine went to kindergarden at lime street elem...she had to do kindergarden twice..thats when i was pregant with ernesto(1987)...(that will be another blog in the near future...)so i had two kids..single parent..working(at a nursing home in the kitchen) and taking care of my babies....ernesto got sick from daycare...and bascailly stop working..went back on welfare...but its 1989 and i took a big step..i went to college...and graduated in 1991...i was living in the projects and going to school..and taking care of the kids..i literally took the time to study and make good grades..something i thought i would never do was going to college...but i did it...so 91 i was looking for a job..up and down lakeland hills blvd...where all the doctors and hospital was looking for a job..jesus the ecomony sucked...not like todays....but i didnt and couldnt find a job in the medical sect field....so i gave up...still on welfare and i let the depression take me over.....92

WHEN IT ALL CAME ABOUT.....

MY NAME IS BONNIE...I WAS LIVING IN LAKELAND FL..WORKING AND MET THIS GUY...ONLY KNEW HIM FOR 3 MONTHS..IT WAS A THANKSGIVING WEEKEND IN 1980...I HAD A CASE OF MONO..THEN THE NEXT THING I DID WAS I CAME HOME(TO IL)..NO WHERE TO LIVE..DIDNT REALLY ASK THE DALLNER FAMILY TO PUT ME UP...BUT MY FATHERS OLD PAINT STORE...I LIVED IN THE BASEMENT....WOW....ANYWAYS SOMEHOW I GOT TO DOLLY AND EMERSONS HOUSE AND I GOT A JOB AT BURGER KING...FINLEY SQUARE..AND MIKE WAS THERE...ANYWAYS..WKS LATER I WENT TO THE DOCTOR FOUND OUT I WAS PREGANT WITH CHILD...FUNNY I WAS DATING MIKE FOR FUN...AND THEN MONTHS LATER BEFORE I START SHOWING I TOLD HIM I WAS PREGANT...THE FATHER WAS DOWN IN LAKELAND AND I TOLD HIM...LIKE THAT WAS GOING TO WORK...SO I JUST WORKED AT BK AND MOVED IN WITH MAIRANA TIL I HAD THE BABY...AT FIVE MONTHS..I ALMOST SAW A LAWYER TO GIVE UP THE BABY....BUT SHE MOVED HER BIG ASS IN ME...AND I CHANGED MY MIND...I STARTED BUYING THINGS FOR WHAT I NEEDED...THEN THE GRANDPARENTS...DALLNERS TOOK ME IN WKS BEFORE...THE DAY BEFORE I HAD JASMINE..I HAD A ULTRA SOUND..I KNEW SHE WAS MY DAUGHTER SO THE THE HEART BEATING..ALL THAT STUFF... AND MY FRIEND MARE TOOK ME DOWN A BUMPY ASS ROAD..AND I THOUGHT I WAS GOING INTO LABOR WHICH I WAS...SO I WAS TO HAVE MARY THERE FOR ME...AND LESLIE WAS THERE..SORRY MARE...STILL LOVE U...AND I HAD MY DAUGHTER AT 12:47PM AT 9LBS 3OZS 21INCES LONG...AUG.6/1981